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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconitsxmagik:

Author's Comments

This idea has been swimming around my mind for a while now, and I finally fished it out.
It didn't come out exactly the way I wanted it to... oh well.

Critique welcome for this one.

Critiques


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Comments


love 1 1 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconthat-hippie-kid:
this is just beautiful
well done, it's stunning.
:heart:

--
we're going down, down
in an earlier round and
sugar we're going down swinging
:iconitsxmagik:
:] Thank you so much.

--
make a map of what you see; direct pain effectively.
:iconorange-lily:
:heart:
I love it.

--
Love is like war: easy to begin, hard to end.
-Proverb


Kiss me under the mistletoe...please? :heart:
:iconitsxmagik:
:heart: Thank you!

--
make a map of what you see; direct pain effectively.
:iconofdirfska:
Felt like critiquing today:
Hurrah, British spelling of colour!
Love the descriptions of the eyes.
There are a bit too many "they"s at the beginning. I lost track of who or what "they" were.
Beautiful imagery with the "roots" watered by her tears.
I love the tone shift in the last sentence of II! It's incredible!
In III, "yet so far" feels like a poignant part of the phrase, but it's being hidden in the parentheses.
Good parallel structure in the last sentence. There's a semicolon splicing that phrase, though; it should be a comma or a dash.

You could do another draft and look over how it flows. Overall, though, I love it.
Fav'd :+fav:

--
@}/-->---
:iconbrightsidekiller:
Absolute Yes.

--
I'll make you smile just so I can sit and look at it.
:iconmiss-chemical:
'He gently pressed his lips to hers, and that was all the flying he would ever accomplish.'

I can so relate to this. You're beyond amazing.

:heart:
:iconcihge:
Oh dear :tears:
I never cry ?!? :wow: :+fav:

--
The right word is worth a thousand pictures.
:iconcrookd-bullet:
touching imagery. it's beautiful :heart:!

--
She has no heart but she dreams in old fashioned ways. - K.W.

Details

February 17
1.7 KB

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